Being Happy

I was a bit annoyed by the fact that everyone seems so happy with their achievements. I have friends who just got a secondment in USA as an auditor of one of the big four. I should be happy right?

I do, a bit, but then I compare it to myself. What he wants is what I really want. Go to USA and become a professional auditor. Okay the last one isn't what I really want, but working in USA legally is what I dreamed of.

And then, I feel bad that I feel this way. I should be content on what I do have right now. I am doing good also, right?

Lets count on what I have:

1. I have a fantastic family, even though we never do the lovey dovey kind of gesture to show love but yeah we do love each other.
2. I still have job, at least in Taipei, even though I don't really like it but at least I have a job that can pay my bill. 
3. I have friends, but to be honest I think I keep losing my good friends. I know partly it is because my fault. I become lazy and lazier to taking care the friendship that I had because I am going down with my misery.
4. I am pretty. I do believe so, even though I have big nose and small boobs but I still consider my self as beautiful girl.

I listed down on what I have, that I should be happy of but I still lack something. Why I should happy when I believe that happiness is coming from when you have whatever you want. 

Can you be happy without everything that you wish you have. Why I need to pretend that I can be happy by not having what I really want. It is still my question even though I read the happiness project. Btw, the book was good and I don't have time to read it all, but overall it's quite a good book to read.

I can believe in pretending to be happy and lead in happiness in one condition that by pretend to be happy can bring me success, then I will pretend to be happy. 

But pretending to be happy is tiring. Have you ever pretend to be happy, and have you realized how difficult it is. 

I am still trying to find my way to be happy. YES, I want a acknowledgement and respect! that my source of happiness. MAYBE!

Or I want to be love by a guy, my prince charming that will just do what ever to make me happy and seeing me happy is what his only wish. 

I neglect this blog for quite a time, and I also have no idea why I do this. At first, I thought I can earn money by doing the blogging. But I get really lazy to do so and update on what I wear or what I have ate. Ughh..that's difficult.

I know what I write is going to far from the title of on how being happy. But maybe, writing it all will give me some chance later to look back how I feel when the mellow mode strike me.

writing is easy they said I

Writing is never been easy for me. I hate writing, and I never passionate about it. It might be related on how I don't like to read. I thought that I am just a normal person that don't like to read because reading are for "the one", some one who just born with love with books.

I just don't like to read, thus I made lots of excuses. But it starts to change, I just know that I need to find the book I am passionate about because I am not at the stage where I can digest everything that I read yet.

I found that I am still struggling to find who am I and what I want to be in my life, and that kind of book that will interest me the most.

I still want to improve myself as a better person, and that kind of book will steal my attention from TV.

Back to the title about writing.

Then, I decided to give it a try, here in this long forgotten blog about me. I try to write because I've read a lot for this past week. Lets give it a try, and it supposed to be a lot of easier after five visit reports that I made this past week, I said to myself.

It's not easy and it's never been easy when I tried to put the best arrangements of words that can move people. This would be a trial part one of my writing. It will improves some day, and I am getting better with this, I believe.

Just Jealous

I just had a chat with my friends on what we gonna do next. One of my friend already bored to death, and felt that his career just there and won't improve. It's true though, I was thinking that mine is the same. You may say that I am a person that really jealous on people's happiness rather than be happy for them for real (sometimes I do happy for others).

I felt bad about how I feel. I try to avoid facebook, so I won't see people's happiness and be jealous for it. It's killing me, I know that I need to change and move forward to find my happiness rather than watch people's happiness and hoping it happens to me but do nothing. 

Am I too Sensitive?

I cried a lot. Even a bit disappointment can lead to tears on my eyes or ninja just slices onion near me. I was so mad at someone today. It is quite often already, I don't like to argue with her because it is definitely useless but I cried!

I was so angry but I can't show it to her and it manifest to a tears on my eyes. I wish I have stronger personality, I easily to break.

I am like a kid, I don't even think I am suit for tough working environment. The worst happened was I had tears on my eyes, in front of my boss!! I think I cried once also, I know it's not a good thing because you will be seen as weak but I can't control my how I felt.

If anyone know how to handle this, please let me know.

T.T

Selamat Hari Valentin :)

I wasn't realize today is Valentine's day till my friend asked me for a dinner. I thought why so sudden she asked me for a dinner because it's not weekend. Mmmm....yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh..sure Valentine's day with friends! Sounds good!! ^^

We ate at NY Bagel Cafe. I didn't take picture on what I eat because I haven't use to do that. I will do next time :)

Happy Valentine's Day!! ^^

5 minutes before sleep

On my lunch time, I read my favorite blog  http://kenzas.se/  and she won the International Blog Awards from Bloglovin. Truly, I am so damn happy. I like her blog so much, because she's telling her life through her blog and that's what I am trying to do.

I love how Kenza Zouiten didn't even care about who is the hottest blogger or how she would impressed the readers and stuff, she just being her self. She just 20 years old, still so young and I am so envy her. I wish I still have time to be like her..ahahhahah..*wishing*

Anyway, when I am into something, I will do it no matter how tired I am. Like now, it's almost 1 a.m and I still write the blog. Because just in sudden after I knew Kenza won the award, it does strike me with an englightment of blogging. It really doesn't matter who read and who care for what I read. The blog is for me to enjoy myself and to improve my self.

It's my Facebook now. 

Business Trip?! PLEASE

I think it's kinda to fast to be sure that I might off for a business trip again since I had failed 5 times on my visit proposal.

Deep down in my heart, I really want to have another business trip back to Indonesia. Please, dear God! ><.

I bought some cute note books and pen for note taking during my business trip. Finger crossed!! A Business Trip please!

It's another Monday T,T

I wear my sweater I bought 五分部 on Saturday. I don't really like it thought, but my friend said it's so good and she wanted to buy it from me if I don't like it. Yeah sure!!..ahahahha..so this will be the last I wear this.

Btw, I don't have water this morning. I hate it!! I didn't take shower, so I came to the office a bit earlier and washed my face only. 

I thought maybe I can give you my lips only, but I usually don't put make while I am in the office, no one I want to attract anyway..ahahahha...so 沒差...

Forever 21.jp

My friend, Hika, just came back from Japan, she will stay overnight with me. She bought us a headband. I chose blue one because I think it's fit me better.

It's from Forever21, take a note it's FE21.jp..hahahhaa..She said it's quite cheap there only NT50 for one head band. We will have dinner later to celebrate Hika's bday. Post to you later about the dinner.

情人節快樂

I am usually back from office around 18.30, have dinner and then back home and shower. It's 20.00 by the time I'm done with everything and try to do what I supposed to do! studying English or Chinese, and I just realize that I only have 3 hours each day after office. What!!!??

That's all that I have?! It justify why I haven't start my studying, I don't have time..ahahhahaha. But, I need to study a bit, each day just a bit. And you my reader!! will help me out. You may also join me to study.

Start from tonight, we will study a bit of English and Chinese. Okay lets start with Chinese. I will have new post just for English.

Qíngrén jié kuàilè= Happy Valentine
寂寞Jìmò=lonely
理想情人的溫馨陪伴Lǐxiǎng qíngrén de wēnxīn péibàn= The warm companionship of an ideal lover
    理想lǐxiǎng  =dream, ideal
    情人qíngrén = lover
    溫馨wēnxīn = warm
    陪伴péibàn = company

Yo...Happy Valentine in advance, I hope I won't that lonely on that day T.T

After lunch, I grabbed some Assam Milk Tea made in Taiwan. Geez it's I am not use to drink an Assam mixed with Tea, I am dizzy now

Post New Year

It's been two months since New Year. I have my resolution for this New Year that I will at least more productive than last year.

It's true that I got the job here in Taipei, like what I wished for and I really thank God for giving me the opportunity. When I was at school, I'd hoped that if I find job in Taipei, I would take this opportunity seriously. I will learn Chinese, improve my English, make more friends, and update my blog more often and shop like crazy.

But I don't do any of that, I have no idea why I don't get any passion (精神Jīngshén) to do so. I start work on September, I gave my self 4 months to do nothing and just to enjoy what I got and will start to improve my self on January.

It's been more than a month and I do nothing. I wish by blogging I can improve what I expected, readers will be my passion. Finger crossed.

I want to share more today, but it almost past my lunch time. Can I share my work pressure here? I know there is some rule in blogging that try as positive as you can be, let see if I can hold the pressure in my heart.

Let's have some Chinese words today Yeayiiiiiiiii...

拍賣Pāimài = auction

超级 商城Chāojí shāngchéng = supermall

     超级 = super

     商城 = department store

高級 Gāojí = high level

Costco after office

Went to Costco to buy what my sister asked for, but I didn't found it in Costco Taipei. I felt that I need to buy something even I didn't need it.

Bought Laura Mercier Bath and Body Scrub for NTD497, quite cheap though.

So hungry that we decided to eat in Costco, it was really nice food and cheap also. I ate a kebab or whatever it called in Chinese, it's a chicken wrapped by something I don't know what it is. But it's look like below. It's only NTD79 and plus NT20 for the drink.

Costco was so crowded

View from the office

A great view from 10th floor office. What a nice Saturday. I haven't do much thing today, feels a bit guilty though >.<

Office in Saturday

I have an office on Saturday, it's because I (all who working in Taiwan) have 1 day extended holiday for Chinese New Year, so the next week all workers in Taiwan need to replace the holiday given by working on weekend.

I almost couldn't wake up this morning. It's Saturday, my body already sets their own alarm to rest today.

But, I like to have an office in Saturday. Am I weird?, not really, I don't have much thing to do on Saturday. As a sales, I need to call customers every working day. Since it's Saturday, I won't have any customer to call, but still I need to do what left on Friday.

This is the cute pink watch I wear today.

My friends from Tainan will come for a visit later in the evening, I was intended to sleep like a baby tomorrow Sunday, but they won't come often so I need to bear it.

Later we will go to Costco and dinner.

Me in the Office

Yo...my first post in the office. I tried to do blogging more often, for refreshing purpose. I have my own another work pressure now T.T

But that might the part of growing up, must face it and try to be happy about it. It still better than doesn't have any job right. We always have ups and downs, 加油 for me!!

I have some webcam shoot in the office. It's good to kill my lunch time.

I think I love writing now :))

as an MC??!!

For our company's year end party. I am officially the MC..wooo..what I prepared the most might be the clothes..ahahahha..I didn't want to shocked everyone who will just simply wear their office attires.

Post more later!!